Can't cry? Movies got you.

Happy New Year Reader!

Welcome to the Raising Resilient Teen Girls Community- so glad you're here. If you've been here a while, thank you for being a fan. If you're new welcome!

Can we talk feelings for a minute?

I often hear a version of this when working with teen girls, "I can't cry" or "I know I need to let my emotions out, but I can't seem to"

And sometimes when we don't how to help those feelings move through us, we find other means to cope.

In being more direct and honest with you... sometimes it leads to things like endless scrolling to avoid, hyper immersing into acheivement or relationships, using a substance to numb or change the feeling, masking with another feeling such as irritation or anger, and self-harm.

While these are ways that can temporarily cope with feelings that can feel too big too handle, there's also another way.....Sometimes the safest way to feel big feelings… is through story.

A movie.

A song.

A character we recognize ourselves in.

And suddenly, the tears come. The ache softens. The tightness in our chest loosens just a little with an exhale.

Emotional Intelligence in Motion!

When we watch/listen to a character grieve, hope, struggle, love, lose… our nervous system says, “Oh. This feels familiar.”
And it finally lets us feel what we’ve been carrying.

For teens especially (and you!), this can be a powerful doorway of moving through feelings.

Many girls (and adults truthfully) don’t always have words for what’s happening inside, but music and stories give them language for their inner world.

And honestly?

It’s just as powerful for parents.

Feelings Are Not Problems to Solve

We are immersed in a culture that rushes feelings away:
Be positive.

Don’t overthink.

It’ll be fine.

But when we are rushing through all our emotional experiences or shoving them deep...... DEEP...... DEEP UNDERGROUND (Ask me how I know), they don't go away, they become the fertilizer for the soil we stand on. 🌱