Hello! I’m Chantal, teen life coach and psychologist who’s helping teen girls build confidence, handle tough stuff, and grow into their most authentic selves. I’ve curate tools to make your journey as a parent, auntie, or supportive professional a little easier, and a lot more connected. These are the things I use, love, and trust to spark calm, courage, and real conversations with teens.
DO IT... like a starfish!
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Reader If you’re parenting a teen daughter who is recovering from an eating disorder, you likely know this feeling: The moment something shifts. Your stomach drops. When you sense she’s slipping, even before there’s proof. And stepping in to intervene can feel so terrifying. This week, I had a moment that brought that feeling into sharp focus. I was walking with my lab Nova by the river like I do most mornings. It’s that in-between season where everything freezes overnight and softens again by afternoon. It looks solid. Predictable. Safe. Until it isn’t. I heard a sharp crack. Then scrambling. Then the unmistakable sound of ice breaking apart. Nova had fallen through. When I reached the edge, I could see the situation clearly. To the left, there was a smaller sheet of ice and if she floated that way, she could surface and get free. To the right was a thick sheet of ice. If she slipped beneath it, she could be pulled under. My heart sank into my gut. There was no time for a perfect plan. No guarantee. No certainty about how it would end. Only a choice. So I dropped flat onto the ice, arms and legs wide like a starfish, distributing my weight as best I could. I prayed it would hold. I reached with strength I didn’t know I had, lifted her up, and pulled her toward solid ground. Then slid myself back to safety. Afterwards, I stood there shaking for a while. Once my own nervous system settled, I realized: This is what recovery parenting feels like. You see the risk. You feel the urgency. You understand that doing nothing is not an option. And stepping in can feel like stepping onto thin ice. Because when you hold a boundary… When you insist on the meal… When you say no to the eating disorder… \When you stay steady in the face of dysregulation… You don’t know: Will this escalate? Will she threaten? Will she hate me? Will this push her further away? Courage in recovery parenting shifts power away from the eating disorder. When I stepped onto that ice, I didn’t charge forward wildly. I made myself wide and lowered my centre of gravity. I moved with intention And later, I questioned every decision, because high-stakes moments stay with us. You cannot eliminate the ice. Your daughter’s nervous system may be flooded. The eating disorder may be loud. It may threaten, manipulate, or try to pull everyone under. Your role is to become the steady surface. To regulate yourself first. Widen your stance. Act from grounded leadership- not from fear, even when fear is present. This is what secure leadership looks like. Daughters in recovery need parents who can feel fear and still stay steady. That is what keeps them safe. If you are in a season where every boundary feels risky and holding steady feels like you might lose her, know you do not have to step onto the ice alone. With so much gratitude, Chantal Chantal Menard Côté| Psychologist| Teen Coach| Part of the Pyramid Psychology Team - Inspiring teen girls to build unbreakable mindsets A special extended THP (the happiness path) Hangouts A relaxed hangout to create, move, connect, and spend time in nature! 👉 Are you in? Save her spot here |
Pyramid Psychology- Inspiring Teen Girls to Build Unbreakable Mindsets
Hello! I’m Chantal, teen life coach and psychologist who’s helping teen girls build confidence, handle tough stuff, and grow into their most authentic selves. I’ve curate tools to make your journey as a parent, auntie, or supportive professional a little easier, and a lot more connected. These are the things I use, love, and trust to spark calm, courage, and real conversations with teens.
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